[On the one hand (pun intended), Dustin could just draw another middle finger for Terezi's perusal and deny her the satisfaction of a real answer. On the other, there's that persistent, desperate need to explain himself when he feels people aren't understanding him, and he imagines that would be just as tortuous for him as it would be for her. The latter wins over, in the end.]
1. You're impulsive. You assume that your intervention alone is enough to solve problems. You did this when you impersonated Zephyr, under some kind of misguided assumption that no one would notice. If you had never thought to get in my way then, none of this would be happening. That was your first mistake.
2. You're not stupid. You have realized that this action was a mistake.
3. You're stubborn. Even though you know you've made a mistake, you insist on making it worse because it amuses you, or it fuels your delusion of being able to make a difference, something that happens without filter re: point 1.
4. You're pragmatic. You have a set of goals pertaining to a very specific set of people, and you will bend the wills of everyone else around you until you see those goals met. You promised that you would make my life a living hell, and you have individually picked the precise lowest points of my time here to gather everyone else in the village to kick me while I'm down. Testifying in the trial when you never mentioned my (admittedly ignorantly-postulated) experiment prior to, just happening to show up to pull pranks on my house so Bertie could take the blame, taking advantage of Justin's immaturity so you could swing him around like an attack dog at the last town meeting to make a scene--it was all precisely orchestrated, and it all involved using other people to achieve a goal that seemed easy to you.
5. Point 1 + point 4 results in a sense of misplaced immunity. You think you can make idle threats and treat me like dirt and it'll all work out fine for you in the end, because you're always right. There are consequences to this. I know there are consequences. I live with them every day. I will make you live with those consequences.
Bonus point 6. I know you aren't enjoying this anymore and I hope you fucking choke on it.
I don't need your apology, even if you were ever seriously considering giving me one.
[At first, Terezi only skims the five points, reading the starting sentences and nothing else. What she finds leaves her more than uneasy. Was she wrong? Did he understand her better than she thought?
Then she reads through the whole thing, and that worry melts away. It's almost sad how close and yet how far he is. A bunch of lucky shots made in the dark that happened to hit close to the truth.]
1T 1S 4 GOOD TH1NG TH4T YOU W3R3 NOT 3XP3CT1NG 4N 4POLOGY B3C4US3 YOU C3RT41NLY D1D NOT 34RN ON3
BUT 1 4M F33L1NG GR4C1OUS 1N L1GHT OF YOUR POOR M4RKS SO L3T M3 R3V13W TH3 CORR3CT 4NSW3RS W1TH YOU
1. 1NCORR3CT YOU 4R3 CONFUS1NG 1MPULS1V3N3SS W1TH 4 S3NS3 OF DUTY 1 W4S NOT UND3R TH3 4SSUMPT1ON TH4T NO ON3 WOULD NOT1C3 1 *1NT3ND3D* TO B3 NOT1C3D TO L3T Z3PHYR S33 TH3 K1ND OF TR1CK TH4T YOU W3R3 TRY1NG TO PL4Y ON TH3M 1 CONS1D3R3D TH3 R3SULT TH4T Z3PHYR M1GHT NOT 4PPR3C14T3 M3 1MP3RSON4T1NG TH3M 1 F3LT 1T W4S WORTH TH3 R1SK TO PROT3CT TH3M FROM WH4T W4S W4NTON 3XP3R1M3NT4T1ON ON YOUR P4RT
2. P4RT14LLY 1NCORR3CT 1 M4Y NOT NOT B3 STUP1D BUT 1 DO NOT CONS1D3R TH4T 4CT1ON TO B3 4 M1ST4K3 PROT3CT1NG Z3PHYR 1S N3V3R 4 M1ST4K3 R3G4RDL3SS OF CONS3QU3NC3S
3. P4RT14LLY 1NCORR3CT 1 W1LL 4DM1T TO B31NG STUBBORN BUT 1 4M NOT DO1NG TH1S B3C4US3 1T 4MUS3S M3 1 4M DO1NG TH1S B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 BL1ND 4ND TH3 ONLY D1FF3R3NC3 1 4M TRY1NG TO M4K3 1S W1TH YOU 1N TH4T V31N M4YB3 1 4M D3LUS1ON4L WHO KNOWS
4. PART14LLY 1NCORR3CT 1 DO CONS1D3R MYS3LF PR4GM4T1C 1 DO H4V3 A S3T OF GO4LS FOR 4 C3RT41N S3T OF P3OPL3 1F 1T C4M3 DOWN TO 1T 1 WOULD DO WH4T3V3R 1T TOOK TO M33T THOS3 GO4LS TH3 PROBL3M H3R3 L13S 1N WH4T YOU TH1NK THOS3 GO4LS 4R3 YOU S33 M3 4S SOM3 M4ST3RM1ND M4N1PUL4T1NG OTH3RS 1NTO F1GHT1NG MY B4TTL3S FOR M3 1 C4N T3LL YOU NOW TH4T 1 H4V3 N3V3R N33D3D OTH3RS TO F1GHT ON MY B3H4LF 1 T3ST1F13D 1N TH4T TR14L TO M4K3 4 PO1NT 4BOUT WH4T YOU D1D B3C4US3 TO OTH3RW1S3 K33P S1L3NT M34NT POSS1BLY G1V1NG YOU AUTHOR1TY TH4T YOU WOULD 4BUS3 JUST L1K3 YOU TR13D TO 4BUS3 Z3PHYRS TRUST 1N TH31R FLOCK 1 SHOW3D UP TO THOS3 PR4NKS B3C4US3 TH3Y S33M3D H4RML3SS 4T TH3 T1M3 4ND MY P4RT1C1P4T1ON 1N TH3M W4S L1K3W1S3 H4RML3SS H4D 1 NOT B33N TH3R3? NOTH1NG WOULD H4V3 CH4NG3D 3XC3PT YOUR T4BL3 WOULD H4V3 B33N 4 L1TTL3 MOR3 L3V3L 1 W1LL T4K3 BL4M3 ONLY FOR TH3 TH1NGS TH4T 1 D1D 4ND NOTH1NG 3LS3 4ND WH4T H4PP3N3D 1N TH4T M33T1NG W4S NOT SOM3TH1NG TH4T 3V3N 1 3XP3CT3D JUST1N 1S MY MO1R41L 4ND MY B3ST FR13ND NOT SOM3 K1ND OF 4TT4CK DOG 1 D1D NOT 3XP3CT OR *W4NT* H1M TO JUMP TO MY D3F3NS3
5. 1NCORR3CT 1 DO NOT H4V3 4NY S3NS3 OF M1SPL4C3D 1MMUN1TY WH4T 1MMUN1TY 1 DO H4V3? 1 UND3RST4ND 1T W3LL 1 4M NOT 4LW4YS R1GHT 1 H4V3 NOT 4LW4YS *B33N* R1GHT 4ND 1 H4V3 SUFF3R3D MOR3 CONS3QU3NC3S TH4N YOU COULD 3V3N DR34M OF HOW 3X4CTLY DO YOU 3XP3CT TO M4K3 M3 L1V3 W1TH 4NYTH1NG? YOUR S3NS3 OF S3LF1MPORT4NC3 1N TH3 M4NN3R OF MY CONSC13NC3 1S GROSSLY OV3R3ST1M4T3D
6. 1 W4S N3V3R 3NJOY1NG TH1S TO B3G1N W1TH BUT 1 4M GO1NG TO K33P DO1NG TH1S UNT1L YOU R34L1Z3 HOW WRONG YOU 4R3 3V3N 1F 1T K1LLS M3
W1TH 4LL OF TH4T B31NG S41D 1 W1LL G1V3 YOU 4 CH4NC3 TO R3D33M YOURS3LF ON3 MOR3 QU3ST1ON FOR TH3 RO4D
DO YOU KNOW WHY 1 H4V3NT TOLD 4NYON3 4BOUT YOUR F1T OF 4NG3R TH3 OTH3R D4Y? 1 4CTU4LLY W3NT OUT OF MY W4Y TO L13 FOR YOU 4BOUT TH3 BRU1S3 TH4T YOU L3FT ON MY CH33K FROM TRY1NG TO SM4SH MY F4C3 1N C4N YOU H4Z4RD 4 GU4SS?
[Dustin glances over the note only once. It's all he needs to do to commit it to memory, even though he rather wouldn't. It's all pointless. His overlying conclusions were correct--so her justifications don't matter to him, ultimately. Just more excuses so she can feel above it all. Of course.]
[It all kind of funnels down to the bottom of the page, and again, Dustin is compelled to answer. He keeps it short this time, because Terezi has already explained most of it for him.]
Because you feel like I'm your responsibility and you can "fix" me to your personal sense of justice, whatever the hell that is. You don't want anyone else interfering in your efforts to break me.
I can deal with that. It means I can drag you down with me. Bitch.
TH1S TOWN 1S 1MPORT4NT TO M3 4S 4R3 4LL OF TH3 P3OPL3 1N 1T 1 WOULD DO 4NYTH1NG TO K33P TH3M S4F3 R3G4RDL3SS OF HOW 1 F33L 4BOUT YOU YOU 4R3 4LSO 4 P4RT OF TH1S TOWN
1F WORD OF WH4T YOU D1D GOT TO JUST1N OR TO 1Z TH3Y WOULD K1LL YOU 1 DO NOT DOUBT TH4T FOR 4 MOM3NT 4ND 1 WOULD NOT B3 4BL3 TO T4LK TH3M OUT OF 1T 1 DO NOT DOUBT TH4T 31TH3R
1 H4V3 DE3LT W1TH 3NOUGH P3OPL3 DY1NG 4ROUND M3 1 DO NOT W4NT TO D34L W1TH MOR3 NOT 3V3N SOM3ON3 L1K3 YOU
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 04:19 am (UTC)1. You're impulsive. You assume that your intervention alone is enough to solve problems. You did this when you impersonated Zephyr, under some kind of misguided assumption that no one would notice. If you had never thought to get in my way then, none of this would be happening. That was your first mistake.
2. You're not stupid. You have realized that this action was a mistake.
3. You're stubborn. Even though you know you've made a mistake, you insist on making it worse because it amuses you, or it fuels your delusion of being able to make a difference, something that happens without filter re: point 1.
4. You're pragmatic. You have a set of goals pertaining to a very specific set of people, and you will bend the wills of everyone else around you until you see those goals met. You promised that you would make my life a living hell, and you have individually picked the precise lowest points of my time here to gather everyone else in the village to kick me while I'm down. Testifying in the trial when you never mentioned my (admittedly ignorantly-postulated) experiment prior to, just happening to show up to pull pranks on my house so Bertie could take the blame, taking advantage of Justin's immaturity so you could swing him around like an attack dog at the last town meeting to make a scene--it was all precisely orchestrated, and it all involved using other people to achieve a goal that seemed easy to you.
5. Point 1 + point 4 results in a sense of misplaced immunity. You think you can make idle threats and treat me like dirt and it'll all work out fine for you in the end, because you're always right. There are consequences to this. I know there are consequences. I live with them every day. I will make you live with those consequences.
Bonus point 6. I know you aren't enjoying this anymore and I hope you fucking choke on it.
I don't need your apology, even if you were ever seriously considering giving me one.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 04:56 am (UTC)Then she reads through the whole thing, and that worry melts away. It's almost sad how close and yet how far he is. A bunch of lucky shots made in the dark that happened to hit close to the truth.]
1T 1S 4 GOOD TH1NG TH4T YOU W3R3 NOT 3XP3CT1NG 4N 4POLOGY
B3C4US3 YOU C3RT41NLY D1D NOT 34RN ON3
BUT 1 4M F33L1NG GR4C1OUS 1N L1GHT OF YOUR POOR M4RKS
SO L3T M3 R3V13W TH3 CORR3CT 4NSW3RS W1TH YOU
1. 1NCORR3CT
YOU 4R3 CONFUS1NG 1MPULS1V3N3SS W1TH 4 S3NS3 OF DUTY
1 W4S NOT UND3R TH3 4SSUMPT1ON TH4T NO ON3 WOULD NOT1C3
1 *1NT3ND3D* TO B3 NOT1C3D TO L3T Z3PHYR S33 TH3 K1ND OF TR1CK TH4T YOU W3R3 TRY1NG TO PL4Y ON TH3M
1 CONS1D3R3D TH3 R3SULT TH4T Z3PHYR M1GHT NOT 4PPR3C14T3 M3 1MP3RSON4T1NG TH3M
1 F3LT 1T W4S WORTH TH3 R1SK TO PROT3CT TH3M FROM WH4T W4S W4NTON 3XP3R1M3NT4T1ON ON YOUR P4RT
2. P4RT14LLY 1NCORR3CT
1 M4Y NOT NOT B3 STUP1D BUT 1 DO NOT CONS1D3R TH4T 4CT1ON TO B3 4 M1ST4K3
PROT3CT1NG Z3PHYR 1S N3V3R 4 M1ST4K3 R3G4RDL3SS OF CONS3QU3NC3S
3. P4RT14LLY 1NCORR3CT
1 W1LL 4DM1T TO B31NG STUBBORN
BUT 1 4M NOT DO1NG TH1S B3C4US3 1T 4MUS3S M3
1 4M DO1NG TH1S B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 BL1ND
4ND TH3 ONLY D1FF3R3NC3 1 4M TRY1NG TO M4K3 1S W1TH YOU
1N TH4T V31N M4YB3 1 4M D3LUS1ON4L
WHO KNOWS
4. PART14LLY 1NCORR3CT
1 DO CONS1D3R MYS3LF PR4GM4T1C
1 DO H4V3 A S3T OF GO4LS FOR 4 C3RT41N S3T OF P3OPL3
1F 1T C4M3 DOWN TO 1T 1 WOULD DO WH4T3V3R 1T TOOK TO M33T THOS3 GO4LS
TH3 PROBL3M H3R3 L13S 1N WH4T YOU TH1NK THOS3 GO4LS 4R3
YOU S33 M3 4S SOM3 M4ST3RM1ND
M4N1PUL4T1NG OTH3RS 1NTO F1GHT1NG MY B4TTL3S FOR M3
1 C4N T3LL YOU NOW TH4T 1 H4V3 N3V3R N33D3D OTH3RS TO F1GHT ON MY B3H4LF
1 T3ST1F13D 1N TH4T TR14L TO M4K3 4 PO1NT 4BOUT WH4T YOU D1D
B3C4US3 TO OTH3RW1S3 K33P S1L3NT M34NT POSS1BLY G1V1NG YOU AUTHOR1TY TH4T YOU WOULD 4BUS3
JUST L1K3 YOU TR13D TO 4BUS3 Z3PHYRS TRUST 1N TH31R FLOCK
1 SHOW3D UP TO THOS3 PR4NKS B3C4US3 TH3Y S33M3D H4RML3SS 4T TH3 T1M3
4ND MY P4RT1C1P4T1ON 1N TH3M W4S L1K3W1S3 H4RML3SS
H4D 1 NOT B33N TH3R3?
NOTH1NG WOULD H4V3 CH4NG3D 3XC3PT YOUR T4BL3 WOULD H4V3 B33N 4 L1TTL3 MOR3 L3V3L
1 W1LL T4K3 BL4M3 ONLY FOR TH3 TH1NGS TH4T 1 D1D 4ND NOTH1NG 3LS3
4ND WH4T H4PP3N3D 1N TH4T M33T1NG W4S NOT SOM3TH1NG TH4T 3V3N 1 3XP3CT3D
JUST1N 1S MY MO1R41L 4ND MY B3ST FR13ND
NOT SOM3 K1ND OF 4TT4CK DOG
1 D1D NOT 3XP3CT OR *W4NT* H1M TO JUMP TO MY D3F3NS3
5. 1NCORR3CT
1 DO NOT H4V3 4NY S3NS3 OF M1SPL4C3D 1MMUN1TY
WH4T 1MMUN1TY 1 DO H4V3? 1 UND3RST4ND 1T W3LL
1 4M NOT 4LW4YS R1GHT
1 H4V3 NOT 4LW4YS *B33N* R1GHT
4ND 1 H4V3 SUFF3R3D MOR3 CONS3QU3NC3S TH4N YOU COULD 3V3N DR34M OF
HOW 3X4CTLY DO YOU 3XP3CT TO M4K3 M3 L1V3 W1TH 4NYTH1NG?
YOUR S3NS3 OF S3LF1MPORT4NC3 1N TH3 M4NN3R OF MY CONSC13NC3 1S GROSSLY OV3R3ST1M4T3D
6. 1 W4S N3V3R 3NJOY1NG TH1S TO B3G1N W1TH
BUT 1 4M GO1NG TO K33P DO1NG TH1S UNT1L YOU R34L1Z3 HOW WRONG YOU 4R3
3V3N 1F 1T K1LLS M3
W1TH 4LL OF TH4T B31NG S41D
1 W1LL G1V3 YOU 4 CH4NC3 TO R3D33M YOURS3LF
ON3 MOR3 QU3ST1ON FOR TH3 RO4D
DO YOU KNOW WHY 1 H4V3NT TOLD 4NYON3 4BOUT YOUR F1T OF 4NG3R TH3 OTH3R D4Y?
1 4CTU4LLY W3NT OUT OF MY W4Y TO L13 FOR YOU
4BOUT TH3 BRU1S3 TH4T YOU L3FT ON MY CH33K FROM TRY1NG TO SM4SH MY F4C3 1N
C4N YOU H4Z4RD 4 GU4SS?
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 05:17 am (UTC)[It all kind of funnels down to the bottom of the page, and again, Dustin is compelled to answer. He keeps it short this time, because Terezi has already explained most of it for him.]
Because you feel like I'm your responsibility and you can "fix" me to your personal sense of justice, whatever the hell that is. You don't want anyone else interfering in your efforts to break me.
I can deal with that. It means I can drag you down with me. Bitch.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 05:34 am (UTC)TH1S TOWN 1S 1MPORT4NT TO M3
4S 4R3 4LL OF TH3 P3OPL3 1N 1T
1 WOULD DO 4NYTH1NG TO K33P TH3M S4F3
R3G4RDL3SS OF HOW 1 F33L 4BOUT YOU
YOU 4R3 4LSO 4 P4RT OF TH1S TOWN
1F WORD OF WH4T YOU D1D GOT TO JUST1N OR TO 1Z
TH3Y WOULD K1LL YOU
1 DO NOT DOUBT TH4T FOR 4 MOM3NT
4ND 1 WOULD NOT B3 4BL3 TO T4LK TH3M OUT OF 1T
1 DO NOT DOUBT TH4T 31TH3R
1 H4V3 DE3LT W1TH 3NOUGH P3OPL3 DY1NG 4ROUND M3
1 DO NOT W4NT TO D34L W1TH MOR3
NOT 3V3N SOM3ON3 L1K3 YOU
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 05:38 am (UTC)Difference is, I could do without you.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 05:42 am (UTC)UNFORTUN4T3LY TH4T P3RSON DO3S NOT 4CTU4LLY 3X1ST
no subject
Date: 2015-05-10 05:47 am (UTC)[And there's another giant middle finger for Terezi's troubles. It might as well be a stamp that Dustin keeps in his house.]